The kind of unconditional commitment that Jesus wants leaves many people breathless with panic, fear, inadequacy and even despair. I know I feel this way. I know I cannot do it--and in my flesh, I don't even want to do it. There is a strong aversion for many of us, though we may not admit it to others. It is not that we don't want to be committed to God, it is just scary and overwhelming when we truly realize what it takes.
Everything.
We know we cannot do it. When we experience this state, it becomes about us. When we are focused on ourselves, we become paralyzed, inadequate, and insufficient. We strive harder to try to please God and to keep our commitment, and we fail, and that failure perpetuates a viscous cycle that we repeat again and again. This toxicity permeates our consciousness and creates more of the same. For many Christian, it becomes a self-defeating and self-absorbed (albeit, well-intended) pattern of struggle and striving.
The ultimate irony, is in that moment when panic and despair strike, we know that we must surrender this fear to God too, and it is God's grace and finished work that allows us to give everything to God. We must sit with our fears and surrender the struggle to Jesus, and most importantly, stop identifying with them. This is not our identity in Christ. Since we are cradled in His grace, we are made whole and complete in Christ. This visceral grace enables, and even compels us to give everything to God. Since we are in His grace, we are whole and complete because we have what He has. We are what He is, and therefore our commitment to God becomes whole and complete. God sees us as Christ's finished work, holy and acceptable, and then commitment becomes about Jesus instead of ourselves. Our commitment transforms into a source of peace, comfort, and hope, because that commitment is now possible, doable, and desirable. We are able to act on our commitment successfully from the right place.
Transcendence is simultaneously a choice and something that happens to us, a paradox that passes all understanding.
