Rocks in the Jar

            It is a perverse human habit to resist what is good for us and not do what we know would make us happy. Why do we do this? There are probably several reasons, and many of us probably experience more than one of these at different or simultaneous times: not believing we deserve good things, being lazy, fearing discomfort or the uncertainty, or going numb. I find myself easily falling back into patterns of not doing what is good for me or makes me happy, and it is a constant struggle to find the time, energy, focus, and willingness to prioritize, even when I know what is most important. It’s almost like I forget and it doesn’t even come to mind after a while. Human nature is strange.

             I was listening to an audible book on my Kindle that talked about God’s grace in the natural world, and the fact that we cannot find such grace and beauty in such tangible ways that are as comprehensible as in the nature. The woodland stream, the mountain cliff, the warbling songbird, the roaring surf, the blue sky, the powerful storm, the wind in the trees—these are all manifestations of God’s magnificent artistry. Our emotional capacity to respond to them is also a gift, and the healing power of these surroundings are a symbol of God’s grace. It’s as if God took what he did for us and turned it into physical manifestations. In listening to this book on tape, it reminded me of the emotional power of the natural world in showing us God’s abundance, love, and grace for us. I decided to take a walk on a community path where I haven’t been before. On the walk, I saw the another side of the area I’ve never seen before. A storm front had caused it to rain on and off, and the humid June day made the earth smell fresh and clean, and vegetation filled my nostrils. A breeze blew through the pleasant warmth. Green fed my hungry eyes and songbirds filled the air with harmony. The whole experience made it worth the effort.

             A counselor once said that when you have lots of priorities that demand your time, energy, and attention, look at your priorities and responsibilities as sand and rocks, and picture your capacity in a day as a jar. You have to decide what priorities are most important. Those are the rocks, the big blocks that start at the top of your priority list. You must make wise decisions about what your rocks are, perhaps putting different rocks in the jar each day, but overall remembering that continuity will create power in your life if you set clear goals. Once you know what the rocks are in your jar, whether it is writing, time with your family, prayer time, meditation, reading, learning to play the guitar, writing a book, starting a business on the side, playing tennis, going to the gym, canning vegetables and gardening, or whatever, it must be the rock, over all other things.  You may still have other responsibilities, the sand that flows around the rocks in the jar, but you know what is constant and important. The rocks are stable and static. They do not move, because they are top of your priority list, they are most important, and if something must get thrown out of your day, it will not be those. The sand is the things that are flexible, that can go under the rocks, or that can be thrown out of the jar altogether. But the rocks in the jar must remain if you are to top down your priorities. For me, the rocks in my jar are to lower my stress levels, since I tend to be prone to anxiety and depression, and to work toward more enjoyment of my life. For me, that is finding time for my spiritual life, writing, exercising, getting out in nature, resting, and being with my husband, family, and friends.  

            For me, this has become a big challenge as writing instructor, since grading and reading papers are incredibly time, energy, and focus-intensive, and my workload was recently increased even more with more students and larger classes, and it became more challenging than ever to be able to do this. I was put in position where I was forced to be more creative about how I spent my time, energy, and focus. I realized that this change was short changing the students, and I couldn’t take on the responsibility for this extra work, and so I had to set a new priority of looking for a job situation that would allow this time. In the meantime, I had to find a way to cope. When I started putting myself first, I was able to serve my students because without a life to write about, without morale to set a positive example for my students, and without a life outside of work, I am not a teacher that will inspire or help students in a genuine and meaningful way.  It has been a situation where I have had to use very creative tactics to allow good things to continue to happen in my life. I realized that if I was neglected and overworked, my students hurt because it reflected in my teaching, and if I prospered, experienced genuine happiness, and learned to enjoy life every day by prioritizing in smart ways, I would be a better teacher even if I wasn’t spending as much time grading papers continuously. My moments would count more and have more power to encourage, empower, and teach my students in more efficient and positive ways. So the biggest rock is finding a bigger jar, and the second biggest rock is managing my time by putting well-being first.

            The rocks are the rocks, and the sand is the sand. You cannot let your rocks (top priorities) degrade into sand, because that means the decay of your well-being, and the sand cannot become rocks, or your life will become crowded out. You will become overworked, which will lead to self-neglect, low morale, problems in relationships, and health problems.  God’s grace is in the space in the jar. God’s grace is in the choices of rocks. God’s grace is in the fluidity of the sand.

            Pick your rocks carefully. Guard your rocks carefully. And keep your sand fluid, and the jar will give you a cupful of life each day.